06. "What I feel"- Joaquin

To express what we think, they are words. To communicate what we want, they are words. They are words for everything, except to express what we feel. 

Sometimes you don't want to feel what you feel, and the only way to hide a feeling is with another one stronger. 

You got stun, you full yourself with noise so you don't have to hear your feelings and you can't pronounce.

Only you know the nature of that feeling and it would be able to mask. 

Nothing says more of what you feel that you can say. 

But what we feel, it's going to be still there when the bubbles of evasion come down. 

Compulsion, that auto destructive impulse, it's always there, squat. Hovering like a crow. Sniffing the smell of an open wound, and fly over you. Ready to attack. Smell your fears, your ignorance. 

The relapse is a false medicine for a flase disease. It's an attempt to cover up at all costs that pain did not go away, the same wound of always opens again and you back to the same solution known. 

But the feeling, it's to felt, too much.

The relaps doesn't mean you are weak, but the pain worsened. 

Because that is what defined, what we make and we made what we feel. 

Addictions are fake remedies that calm the pain for a while.  Pain that is not going to finish until de pain is over.

Because that is who you are, underneath all that you do to cover your pain and in the middle of the confusion what you feel, that's you.

The fear, the excessive fear, is the anticipation of all the pain that you could get. Fear, it's sensed, it's to sense before time.

We are what we feel, if we feel hatred and resentment, we are hate and resentment.

Is very difficult to put on words the deep pain. But paradoxically, that pain can be heal with words.

All trauma is the son of another trauma, and sometimes we need to go very far in time to heal the pain.to get to them we need to go through the emotional amnesia. The deep wounds, that is unspeakable, it's the only thing that time can't heal.  

Those atavistic pains, inherited and legacies remain in time and become more intense. The traumatic pains don't known analgesic, they can only relieve when you understand what you feel. 

They are very humans feelings going through the middle to victims and perpetrators. The knowledge of knowing that there's a place on our souls to hide our feelings relive us, a place where what we feel it's not going to hurt more.

But it doesn't exist that place to keep your pains, or placebo that calms it, there's only mouths, arms, hands and eyes to express what you feel. The pain it's a raw heart, that can only be heal when you say it.